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Well, it is Sunday and I have not worked out yet :( I don't feel like it yet…. Maybe later. My back is a little sore today from sleeping on a hard bed! I know I said I wanted to make Sunday work outs a habit but I think they will have to become a habit when hunting season is over and I am at home. I would rather do it at home. Plus I did go for a huge walk yesterday. Which counts for something! I doubt I will be home early enough to do my weights there though. The day is not over yet though. You never know I may get the exercise bug and do a work out here at my in-laws anyways!
It is almost 4:00 and Trevor and his dad are over at the people's house that they hunt with cleaning the deer that they have. It will take most of the day to clean 4 deer and they only started at lunchtime. So it may be late by the time we get home. It is a 45-minute drive home and we have a million things to do tonight. I have dishes waiting for me in the sink and I need to make lunches and it would be nice to relax and spend some time together before we have to go to bed and then go back to work again!
I am very happy thought that I am having a good weekend. I used to be really good all week and then have great intentions and then come here to my in-laws and all my good intentions would go down the drain! I have a lot of trigger foods that just want me to eat more! The main ones are anything deep fried or greasy or sweet! They make me want to just eat and never stop! I don't know why but they do! So when I do have greasy things or sweets it must be in controlled circumstance and be from my own planning. When I stay at other people's houses I bring my own food because when I am hungry my will power is shit! I will bet get that hungry if I have plenty of healthy stuff I enjoy with me.
Anyways, just a short post for today. I am going to go and relax for a little but and wait for Trevor to come back so we can go home. I love coming here but it sure is nice to go home! Usually when we come up here we try and go home early un Sunday so we can get everything that needs to be done before we go back to work done… but hunting season is an exception!
Have a great night!
Wendy
So far so good! I am having a great weekend! I am bang on for my points and my mother in law and I went for a 2-hour stroll up town today. I think I will post that as 1 hour of walking on my exercise page! We even went to a Christmas bake sale and I did not buy a thing!! Yay me!!
Holy crap it is getting cold here in Canada! I think they are calling for snow this week. Oh well at least that will get me in the spirit for Christmas shopping! On the way into town last night Trevor and I saw our first glimpse of Christmas lights!! I love Christmas lights! They make me feel good inside! When we were out shopping today I also saw all of the Christmas goodies! Mmmm Christmas Goodies! I just keep telling myself that if I can just wait until Christmas I can have a few goodies then. But until then I really want to stay on track and get in to "virgin" fat before then! Although I must be careful because Christmas is when all hell broke lose the last time I lost weight!
It is hard to remember just exactly when the weight started to come back on. I used to say to myself I would never be that 217-pound girl again! Well I was wrong I got damn close to being "her" again! It all started when I let myself not worry about food when Trevor and I went on holiday to Cape Cod for a week just after I met him. Well I ate and ate and ate like there was not tomorrow! I got in to that "haze" of not thinking about what I was eating! Well I gained about 8 pounds because my week of not worrying turned into 2 weeks! Due to the fact that I was eating 1200 calories a day and working out 6 days a week, as soon as I stopped working out and eating the pounds piled back on. I got back on track though and lost some of the holiday gain but I kept telling myself to behave until Christmas….. Well Christmas came and went but the eating haze did not! It was back and by the time I new it I hade gained over 50 pounds! Although just typing that makes me feel ashamed of myself. How could I have been so close to an ideal weight and have been so healthy and let it all slip away. The hole time I was gaining I never stopped going to the gym. I just ate too much! I would get so mad at myself for having a great day of eating and working out and then I would get home and ruin it all by pigging out! I would be at the gym looking at my success picture on the wall and be thinking " God I wish I could be her again!" and thanking to god that they never ended up updating before I reached my lowest weight of 147lbs! (I am 174 lbs in the picture at the gym) I find myself saying it again…. "I will never be her again". This scares me to death because I know how easily that haze can take over and I could be her again! I learned a huge lesson when I lost the weight and gained most of it back. This lesson is that I must always be aware of what I am eating and I can't let the haze take over when I gain a few pounds. I must refocus and get back on track. A few pounds are much easier to tackle than what a few pounds could turn into by trying to forget about them!
I am now 22.5 pounds lighter than my picture on the gym wall!!! I am going about this journey different this time. I am taking my time and I am eating more and working out less. Another lesson that I learned is that my life change must be sustainable and God knows that eating nothing but 1200 calories a day and working out 6 days a week is just not maintainable! Also I realized that I have a problem. I am addicted to the feeling that food gives me. I am still to this very moment addicted to it. I will be for the rest of my life. So there for I need support and lots of it! Even once I am at goal I will attend weight watchers meetings. I need the support and somebody to be accountable to.
The main person I need support from is the person I get it form the least. This person is me. I am my own worst enemy! I must support myself like I would support my best friend! It all boils down to me. I have to go to the gym, I decide what goes into my mouth, I decide when I slip and gain a few pounds to either give up or get back on track!
I know I am way from perfect and I will slip and fall off the wagon again. I just have to have faith in myself to get back on track and not give up. I deserve to be healthy! I will say it again…. I will never be that 217-pound girl again because I am not her anymore!
Anyhoo, I am babbling again! I hope everybody is having a great weekend.
Take care,
Wendy
P.S. 4 deer so far, but none for Trevor :)
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